I have been so busy giving you all my talent and time…
You made me forget, completely, that my words, thoughts, feelings, and time itself,
Are all my own, first!
10 things stereotypical Indian men need to learn from my husband
The Indian Patriarchal Society™ has taught its sons a lot of ways to ‘handle’ women. Most members follow the rules; a few others work towards changing its outdated rituals. My husband being one of the few that fall into the second category, here’s a leaf from his book.
- Accept the woman you love, completely
Accept her with her past (including childhood abuse, ex-boyfriends, et al), her family background, her shape, her flaws, her scars, her ailments. She wasn’t born perfect, she never will be. She is what she is because of all of this. Love her anyway.
- Stick to your promises
You say a lot when you are in love, sometimes, without meaning it because you are all starry eyed, yet blind, then. Don’t break her heart when it is time to stick together in tough situations (like choosing between her and your family). Make a promise only if you can see it through.
- Help her fight her demons
Sometimes she does things not because she wants to but because she has no control over them (maybe because she is clinically depressed or anxious). Understand her and help her through it. The moment you leave her to fight her own demons, the dark side wins over.
- Bring home the butter
If she is the bread-winner in your relationship, don’t let your ego get the better of you. You can always help by bringing home the butter rather than sulking over not being able to bring home the bread and ending up having none.
- Understand her carnal desires
She is a sexual being, just like you. Help her explore you while she explores herself.
- Be responsible
Don’t want to reproduce, yet? It’s not only her responsibility to stay safe. Wear a condom (hell, insist on it yourself). Pills will only ruin her body and mind.
- Lend a hand with the chores
Why should she alone take care of the house as well as work while you only do the latter and nothing else? Washing clothes in the machine is the easiest thing you can start with. 90% of cooking is the prep time, help her with that so she can serve you with delicious food, quicker. You can sweep while she swabs. You are like Ying to her Yang. Behave like it. She’ll be less tired, happier. Bonus: You’ll see her blushing more often.
- Stay young
Lived with her for 10 years? 20? Why let the world know? Keep your romance fresh, always.
- Add some humour
Life is already too serious to live. Maturity is knowing when to laugh and when not to. But don’t forget to tread on only the territory both mutually agree upon and avoid humouring things that might hurt (read point 1 again).
- Walk beside her
Neither ahead, nor behind, she will need you to be with her. She might want to quit her job to fuel her talent, she might want to study abroad, she might not want children, she might just want to be a housewife, she might want to go on a solo trip. Whatever she is willing to do with her life, don’t argue because you think it’s not right. Put forth your point, listen to hers. Let the decision be hers and hers alone. Trust that she will do only what’s right for the both of you.
These might seem like words right out of a fairy tale that doesn’t exist. But, trust me, I am living this blissful tale for real.
Consent
He pulled her on his lap, said, “Come sit.”
Pushed up her top, opened her pant zip.
Caressed her and asked, “Do you like it?”
She squirmed, “It hurts me hard, please quit.”
She was only five.
He tricked her to be close friends.
Took her home on pretence.
Pulled down her skirt, said, “Why are you tense?
Relax, things happen between friends.”
She was just sixteen.
He said she was first-sight love.
Would keep her like his treasure trove.
She laughed it off like a joke.
The vengeance came when she said, “No.”
She was now eighteen.
Then came along a charming boy.
Off him she couldn’t keep her eyes.
But she’d learnt her lesson all of thrice.
Thought this time she’d think twice.
Before she starts trusting.
He fell for her like fruit from tree.
Her laughter set his worries free.
Dreamed of future days merry.
They gelled well like cake and cherry.
She thought he was just lusting.
From him she kept her distance.
Her despair set her mind in trance.
She wasn’t meant for lasting romance.
This was her only constant stance.
But couldn’t get him out of mind.
She found him different from every other.
Fate, then, finally brought them together.
None could live without each other.
The world’s judgement was not their bother.
But it was her chance to judge him.
He didn’t touch her without consent.
Nor did bad vibes his touch send.
Slowly her heart began to mend.
With him was the best time she’d ever spent.
She thanked her stars for sending him.
She realised her past was not her fault.
Men were bad but not them all.
Find the right one, break that wall.
He will save you from that crazy fall.
But be cautious while treading.
The Dark
She was afraid of the dark.
Not the one that fell when the lights went out.
But the one that captured her heart, mind and soul when she was afraid of losing her most precious loved one.
Puppy Love
I barely got to know my mom. I was adopted within weeks of my birth. He went against his family to bring me home – the dimpled guy with eyes that closed when he smiled.
They used to call him ‘dada’.
He was an active man; made me run around morning, noon, and night. We ate together, drank together (water, milk, beer a few times, when no one was home *hick*), slept, played, walked, sat on the bench outside and daydreamed together. We, basically, lived together.
Though his family was a little reluctant to accept me in the beginning, they started getting fond of me as days passed by. I was now pampered by ‘mummy’, ‘pappa’ and ‘taayi’ as well. I was getting to love this family who loved me back unconditionally (because they always fed me what I wanted.)
A lot of dada’s friends came home to see me when I was younger. I played with them all. I remember only a few faces now, though, and see none. I don’t know why.
I was jealous of one of them, though – a round-faced girl who came home with dada a few times every month, then every week, then almost every day. I pounced on her a lot many times and tried to scratch her too, to express my dislike. But she loved me back, like the family did, each time. So, I started loving her too. I waited for her to come home every evening. She came to ‘teach’ dada something with books and pens. Well, I am not sure if she was a good teacher because I never needed any of those to learn.
Dada looked at her in a very different way. He played with her as well. I was ignored when she was around, especially when no one was home but them and me. I wanted to play with them too. But as soon as I went close by, they would stop playing, as if I was unwanted in the game. I never understood this thing.
She cooked amazing food. The aromas use to make me salivate. She fed me with her hands too. I, sometimes, got crunchy, funny-shaped packaged food to eat too. But I loved the eggs and chicken she cooked for me. I miss that.
But then, one day, she paid the steel prick using man to use other big steel tools on me when I was bleeding profusely and was in immense pain. I thought she wanted to kill me so that she alone could play with dada throughout her life. But I have heard that she was actually helping me to get out of pain. I don’t know how that makes sense but my pain did vanish. Wonder where she disappeared. Did she not know my love for her after what she had done for me?
But then, I doubt if dada did either.
Suddenly the entire household was always arguing, with dada on one side and the whole family on the other. Taayi stopped talking to him too. But that happened since she started getting another dada home. He too visited often. I did not like him as much as I liked the round-faced girl. But since he started visiting often this girl visited much less. I did not know what was happening and who loved me more.
The new, tall dada would not visit when dada was home. The whole family seemed to love the new dada more.
Then one fine day, dada left. He argued, then packed his bags and never came back.
I waited all day, every day. The round faced girl was never seen again either. Then after many, many days a lot of new and seen faces visited our house all at the same time. I was scared. I wanted to be alone on the bench outside, with dada. That’s what we used to do when too many people came home. A few days later taayi dressed up in pretty clothes and came home with the new dada. She packed her bags too. She was going to never come back. I was sad. Where was everyone going, one by one? Why did they not take me along? Was I not that loved?
But one day, taayi came back. She really did. The new dada came with her. She kept coming back, not forever though. If she packed her bags and came back then why did my dada not? I wondered. I still wonder. Did he go to a faraway place? Did someone else adopt him and take him to a new home like he adopted me and got me here? But he was older. His parents were with him. Then who adopted him?
Mummy and pappa take me for walks now. They feed me everything. I don’t get eggs or chicken anymore though. I can’t trouble them for what I want like I used to trouble dada. I can’t be myself anymore. It’s been very many days I haven’t seen dada. I can smell him sometime though, as if he were around. But by the time I turn to see, mummy calls me and drags me home. I don’t know what’s going on. Is he around? Am I just imagining things? I don’t know. I am still looking for answers. My instincts say he’s around, because as far as I know my instincts have never lied. I miss him. I don’t know what happened to the round-faced girl. Did she pack her bags and leave like taayi did? Why does taayi keep getting the other dada home? Is he my new forever dada? But dada was not forever.
All I know is a few days ago, mummy raged with anger when she got a call. I could hear the round-faced girl talking. But then mummy said everyone’s dead and hung up. What does that even mean?
Why didn’t mummy and pappa adopt the round-faced girl like the new dada adopted taayi? That way I could have had all my favourite people living under one roof. Why didn’t dada take me with him? Does he not want me anymore? Or does he miss me but can’t do anything because he is dead? What does being dead even mean? Does it mean people never come back? If that is what it is then I want to be dead too. I hope I go where dada went so we can live our happy days again. I love him. I still do. But does he? If he does then, dear God, please send him back. Please.
Alisha, with my husband
P.S: Dedicated to Alisha, our one true love. We don’t know if you remember us, we don’t know what you are thinking, we can only guess. All we know is that we miss you and hope you miss us too. Wish to see you soon and spend the rest of our short lives together. It was love that brought us together and love that separated us. Pray love brings us back together again.
The Encounter – A Short
“… Thank you all for being a part of this mess that I created and sticking around even during tough times. Hope to see each one of you some day in life. I wish you all the luck.”
Everyone gave him their best wishes and left. She lingered a little longer. Gave him a disgusted, disappointed look and walked away. He hung his head, shrugged and stood speechless.
Frustrated and confused, desperate for a drink, she got into the first pub she could spot, took a seat at the bar and ordered the strongest drink.
After downing half her order, she heard a familiar voice, “What brings you here, beautiful?”
“Hi!” She said dryly, in no mood for unwanted conversation.
“So, he ditched you and the entire organisation tonight, I’ve heard.”
“News travels fast.” She taunted.
“I’ve known this for long now. About time it happened.”
“Was that why you left precisely at the right time?” She questioned.
“I was losing interest anyway. Found better things to do with my talent.”
“Lucky you. I’m stuck with my useless self, I guess, now. With no major talent…” she exclaimed!
“You have a pretty face. You can try modelling. Hell, you can model for me.”
“You run a magazine? Or are you into designing now?” She enquired.
“I’m a photographer.”
“Female photographers are rare, I’ve noticed!” she said, bluntly.
“So are beautiful faces, with right assets, if I may say, like yours.”
She giggled. “You sound like a man trying to hit on me.”
“If my words make you happy and better your night, I’d’ve achieved something.”
“Why did this have to happen to me?” She sobbed.
“That’s what happens when you fall for married men who’re ruled by their wives and who live on their wives’ financial assets. One step out of the line and their world shatters. Because, of course, their reins are in their wives’ hands. I prefer being independent and love everyone who is so.”
“I never knew he was married!” She gasped and said.
“No one knows. He’s secret that way. He has kids too.”
“How do you know?” she was puzzled.
“He’d called me for a family shoot when I was building my portfolio. He’d asked me to zip my lips about it lest the news reaches you or his other girlfriends. But how does it matter anymore?”
“He had more?” She was enraged
“Ofcourse!”
“How many?” she enquired.
“Many. One in each country he visited. But now each one might be sitting in a bar and crying over him, just like you. He had to shut down every bit of what he had created, or rather what his wife’s money helped him create. Now he’s broke. Can’t handle anyone. How will he maintain these high-maintenance dolls? Haah… but isn’t this what happens to men who think they can outsmart women! Serves him right.”
“I am not like the girls you described.” she argued.
“You’re different, I agree. Should have made myself clear. Apologies.”
“How am I different?” She asked, curiously.
“You did what you did for love, not money.”
“I did. Honestly.” She confessed.
“Hmmm… if you don’t mind me asking, could I get a few shots of you?”
“Now?” She giggled. “In my messy state? No way!”
“I want to capture you raw, vulnerable.”
“Ummm… I’m not feeling upto it but I’m in dire need of adventure so, I guess, I’ll take this offer.” She smiled wide.
They drove to the studio. She toasted to this friendship-in-the-time-of-tragedy while they arrived at their destination, and giggled uncontrollably. Her antics were returned with rolled eyes and pressed smiles.
They walked into a house that was turned into a photographer’s studio.
“Do you live here and work here?” She asked.
“Yep.”,
“Alone?” She, hesitatingly, asked.
“Yes.”
“Interesting!” She exclaimed.
“What is?”
“You are.” She blurted.
“Let’s get to work, shall we?”
“Sure. But I don’t think I can stand upright. So I’ll be going crazy over your bed and you can take the shots you want. Nothing explicit, please.” she voiced her concern.
“Trust me, I won’t. I’m a professional.”
“I’m not, anymore, though.” She said, sadly.
“Stop being a cry baby and go crazy. Time to pose.”
She walked into the dimly lit bedroom and dropped herself on the bed.
Her new friend started working her magic with the camera. After a few crazy poses, she paused, breathed hard and said, “That’s it for tonight. I’ll drop you home.”
“I can’t go home like this. I’m staying over.” she said.
Her friend took a moment to think, nodded and agreed. She started packing her camera up, when…
“I don’t think I’ve posed my best. Can I give it another try?” She asked.
“Sure.” Her friend brought out her camera and turned to face her. The sight took her breath away.
She had lowered the shoulders of her top, her deep cleavage giving away the fullness of her breasts. Her skirt was pulled a little below her belly, exposing her curvy pelvis.
Her friend took a deep breath and started clicking pictures. The dim light lit her body in the right places. Her friend swore, if she’d been a man, her manhood would have saluted this beauty hard. She never thought she’d be wet. It stunned her how much her body was trying to express her sexual desires just at the sight of those curves.
Then she moved to the edge of the bed and bent down to pose as if she was trying to pull her stockings up. More of her breasts exposed, arousing more of her friend’s desires.
She was clearly flirting as if with a guy, asking for attention. Her friend controlled all she could and finally asked her to call it a night, stating exhaustion.
She still looked at her friend as if she wanted to be ravaged. Her friend wished her a good night and started to head out of the room.
“Where are you going? You can sleep beside me. It’s your house after all.” She said, flirtatiously.
“I thought you wanted alone time.”
“What I want, now, is to see the pictures. If you don’t mind…” she pleaded.
Her friend brought out her camera and sat on the bed, showing her her work. While she flipped through the pictures, she felt her coming closer to her and breathing on her neck.
“Your lights are too dim. I can’t see how sexy I am.” She giggled.
She bent in closer, her breast touching her friend’s. She was breathing heavy, making her friend feel like a man.
“Time to go to bed.” Her friend said.
She pulled her by her collar and pressed her against her warm body, pushed the jacket off her shoulder and said, “I know you want it too. I’ll lead the way. Just go with the flow.”
She kissed her friend hard while unbuttoning her shirt.
“Hmmm… speaking of assets, you are well-endowed too.” She said and pushed her friend off her, into other side of the bed, unbuttoned her pants and slid off her lingerie.
“You’re really drunk, you should be off to bed.”
“You think I walked into the gay bar by mistake? I knew I’d find you there.” She smirked.
She suck-bit her friend’s right nipple and squeezed her left breast. Her friend finally went with the flow and pulled down her skirt with her toe, which later moved on to find her wet pussy.
She caressed her pussy with her toe while working up her hands from the waist up to her ribs, pushing the top upwards.
She reached her nipples, realising she was bare inside. This excited her further. Her toe found her thong and pulled it down.
She pulled her hair back and bit her neck.
She dragged her up to her mouth and bit her lady.
She moaned, asking for more. She was given what was promised – more and excitingly so.
Her lips sucked her clitoris and her tongue made its way around the labia. It dipped right into the salty goodness and made her climax with a long moan.
She fell back onto the bed. Pulled her friend over her, sucked her nipples harder and pumped her breasts wilder. She dug her well-manicured nails into her ribs, scratched all the way to her waist and back onto her rotund buttocks. She pressed them hard and made her friend moan.
She pulled her closer by her butt and dug her finger into her wet pussy. Oh, how she loved being entered from the hind! It had been long since she’d made love so intense. She enjoyed every bit of it and every moan resonated it. She rode the finger out of excitement. “Don’t stop!” her friend yelled!
She pushed another finger down her friend’s pussy and used the other hand to stimulate her clitoris. She yelled in pleasure and pain. She cummed on her stomach and dropped back onto her side of the bed.
They looked at each other. The dim lights highlighting their flushed faces. Kissing, they said, “Let’s do this often.”
The First Move
She was lying on bed, sobbing, her eyes shut. She could feel his gaze on her; the heat emitting from his face was immense. He didn’t utter a word but breathed heavy. She knew he was still angry. She felt him get off the bed. He went to the kitchen and started shuffling. She shut her mind to everything and fell asleep, still sobbing. She felt him wake her up. It might have been the middle of the night. The lights were out and his silhouette was standing beside her. She sat bolt upright. He was holding something in his hands that she could hardly make out.
“Open your mouth,” he said.
“I don’t want it,” she retorted.
“Do as I say.”
“Don’t force things on me.”
“Open. Your. Mouth.”
She hesitated, then gave in.
He fed her morsels of food he had cooked, like a robot following command, and once done, he headed back to the kitchen. She fell asleep without waiting for him to return.
The early sun rays woke her up. She opened her swollen eyes, and lifted her heavy head. He slept facing away from her. He always did when they fought. She was about to turn away in grief when a handsome sight caught her eye.
The sun rays caressed the curves of his shoulders and arms, lit up every inch of his uncovered body, giving it a golden finish. Goosebumps ran through her as the sight excited her. She smiled, moved closer to him to touch the nape of his neck but held back, lest her advances anger him further. She had forgotten they slept angry on each other.
She couldn’t contain her feelings anymore as his sight teased her with every gaze she put on his being. She got off the bed and paced the length of the room several times before deciding to make the move.
She laid herself down beside him, his back still facing her. She ran her fingernails from his nape to his waist, making snake-like curves as she went about it. Goosebumps rose all over his body. She smiled wide and kept her motions in sync with his heavy breathing. He turned around to lay on his back. She loved that he enjoyed it, though asleep.
She moved her fingers all over his chest up to his navel; he grunted. She looked at him with lusty eyes, excitement taking over her, she bit his nipple. He woke up with a start. Shocked and afraid she’d enraged him, she moved away.
“Why did you stop?” he asked, smiling.
Her face lit up and blushing, she hugged him.
“I’m sorry about last night.” She said.
“Same here.” He replied.
They gazed at each other, smiled and locked lips. The kiss was more intense than ever.
He pulled her closer and hugged her tighter, rolled her over, pulled her hands above her head and bit her hard on the neck. She sprang up and bit his lip harder. He yelled and sought revenge; pecked her all over her shoulders, tender breasts, stomach, waist, belly and every possible place he could reach while holding her down.
She moaned in sweet pain and begged to be forgiven. He let go for a brief second when she set herself free and got hold of his hair, pulled his head back and bit the lobe of his ear. He sighed. She ran her tongue all over his neck, reached his lips but didn’t let him kiss. He ran his fingers over her spine. She reached her peak when he placed his lips on her hardened nipples and sucked hard at them. She moaned, pulled his hand toward her lady and gestured him to begin what he did best.
He inserted his finger inside and sucked harder on the nipple, indicating his love for her excitement. His finger circled her wet clitoris in a steady motion while his tongue now naughtily played with her nipples. She climaxed, pulled his finger away and sat up straight.
She looked him in the eye and pushed him down, bit his neck and ran her tongue over his nipples and around his belly, planted kisses up to the tip of his boner and down till his testes.
She looked up to see him shut his eyes and enjoy the feeling. She sucked on his nut sack and bit every inch of his penis, inserted the head into her mouth and sucked hard. His moan turned her on further. She did all the things he loved, and came to a sudden stop. By the time he opened his eyes, she was over him and he was inside her. Shocked and pleased all at the same time, he began to grind when she asked him to stop. She rode him hard and fast.
“But what about the condom?” He asked.
“Shhhh…!” She shut him down with a kiss.
He came inside her as she asked him to let go.
She rolled back on the bed, kissed him one last time and hid inside her blanket, shy and blushing.
He pulled the blanket off her face, kissed her back and said, “It is sad that I had to fight for it. This is your first move in eight years!!!”
She winked, shied a little, hugged him and hid her face on his shoulder.
Choice
Today, yet again, you chose solitude over me.
Today, yet again, I learnt I should let you be.
The Knight in Rusty Armour
Like most other girls she was fed fairy tales in her childhood. However, soon, she started to realise that she wasn’t the princess they would narrate stories about. She was less than beautiful, socially unacceptable, and a little off her rocker unlike others around her. Her loneliness and the lovelessness around made her meek and reserved. But she would always believe in one thing: if not a prince, a knight in shining armour would definitely rescue her from this plight.
She set out in search of her knight because deep down she felt the knight was in no hurry to look out for her, yet. She thought that, may be, she could find him and show him how much he needed her.
She came across manic princes, warped knights, and many a frogs too. None of them, she was certain, was who she was looking for.
Just when she had given up all hopes to find her knight, she made a new friend. He was just like her, simple and rooted; neither a prince nor a knight.
They loved each other’s company, but were reluctant to name their relationship. She started falling for him even though she knew she was looking for something more, seeking someone else.
Nevertheless, she went with the flow; it all just felt right.
Until one day, when he bowed down to her, placed his rusty armour on her feet, and said,
“I was once a knight in shining armour,
Basking in my own glory.
Till I was ripped off my knighthood,
Well, this is a long story…
I met a fine lady,
Who said she loved me.
We travelled the lands together,
And wanted the world to let us be.
Without a reason,
She started to drift apart.
I never thought,
She’d play with my heart.
Head on to look for a prince,
Who’d fulfill her desires.
Look after her well,
And give her all she admires.
This made me sad,
It broke my heart.
That’s when I decided,
To stop playing my part.
I gave up my knighthood,
And let my armour lie.
I suppressed my love for you,
Waited for it to die.
But I can hide from you no more,
My heart will not allow.
So here I’m placing my feelings on your feet,
In your honour, lady, let me take a bow.”
She was stunned speechless by his gesture and the turn of events. She picked up his rusty armour in acceptance and with a broken smile, accepted her fate.
In time, the two got married and made a home out of whatever little they had. The knight loved her dearly without realising she clutched her broken dreams tighter than his love for her. The rusty armour lay forgotten. The knight’s smallest deeds of love went unnoticed as she waited for a miracle to happen.
Then a day arrived when one of his deeds touched her heart, made her feel like a princess, brought back her forgotten love for him and made her realise her mistake.
With overflowing emotions she dug out his armour polished it to shine and ran to him. Eyes full of happy tears, she hugged the very confused knight and handed him the armour, saying,
“Forgive me, Sir, for I couldn’t see,
Past the inhibitions I believed existed.
My mind was full of fiction,
That since early youth was infested,
Into my mind, into my heart, into everything I did
And with an ashamed head, in front of you today, I sit.
To tell you a truth, mind, it might sound bitter,
I was out of my mind.
Thinking I deserved better,
A prince I might find.
I failed to look past the mask,
Behind which you hide.
I forgot it’s called love,
And it has immense might.
Behind it lies a person so humble,
Full of virtues that no money can buy.
There’s no one like you,
Even if I searched till the world was to die.
I wish to express my deepest emotions,
‘Cause this time I don’t want to fail.
I love you immensely,
In you, I’ve found my fairytale.”
This was the happiest moment of their lives. It goes without saying, they lived happily ever after.
The Cold-hearted One
And then you spoke.
After the long silence.
And then, again, my red heart melted.
But then, it was the last piece that went away.
But now, it is gone.
What will I do, now?
When history repeats itself?
When you try to break it again?
But now, nothing’s left in the cage that once held the wild, wild heart.
But now, when you do what you’ve always done, it’ll end up in the empty, cold cage.
And then, it’ll start forming.
Like it broke before.
Piece by piece.
But it won’t be the same colour.
It’ll be blue.
And cold.
Like the cage that holds it.
And then, it will grow,
With every blow,
That your words throw at it.
And then, it’ll feel.
It will feel nothing.
Nothing that the red one did.
And life will start falling apart.
Apart, like the red heart.
And then, when it finally ends.
It’ll end because of my cold heart.
And then, I’ll be the one.
The cold-hearted one.
Lost World Found 